This was a quickie right before I woke up one morning. How it starts and ends eludes me.
I'm in a garage, but there is a fairly large doorway that leads to the rest of the house. I'm lying on a blow-up mattress, covered in an old, lumpy sleeping bag, lying so that I'm staring into the bright doorway and hall. The garage is dark, cold and musty, and as I lay there, I can see the golden warmth of the rest of the house. My mother trudges into my garage bedroom, obviously exasperated. "Well, you might as well come in." I get excited. She asked me to come in and join the rest of the family! As I stand, I get hit with vertigo and stumble into the wall. I look up at her guiltily. She rolls her eyes and storms away. We're suddenly standing in a bedroom where the whole family is sleeping in a big bed together. My mother says something about me faking my vertigo. I'm suddenly furious and mortified. "Fuck it." I leave the warmth and glow of the family's communal room. I go back to my cold, dark garage alone. I lay down on my bed now facing away from the door and staring at the dark, grey cement wall. I can hear her talking about me to everyone else. I wake up feeling sick with embarrassment, humiliation and anger. It takes me a while to realize this one is actually a dream.
Thursday, 15 August 2013
Dental piercings and terrible legs.
This one is a bit spotty.
Lately I've been having a lot of dreams about when I worked at the piercing shop - going back and working again mostly, or going back to visit old coworkers and my boss.
In this one I was getting pierced. In my front tooth. I initially had a big ring on my left front tooth. I could feel all of the enamel chipping off as I got it done, and immediately after thought "oh god... why did I do this?!" I knew this was forever and that I'd ruined my teeth for life. I kept asking the piercer to change it to a smaller barbell so I could eat, but kept getting told I had to leave the hoop in. I was eating hummus and then suddenly remembered this hoop, which I then took out and looked at this ghastly hole in the mirror. "Oh my poor beautiful teeth! I'm so hideous! My teeth were the only thing I had going for myself!". I walk past a full-length mirror to catch a glimpse of my legs, which are huge, lumpy, rolly things now with huge swells of varicosities. "God, I've let myself go. Why did I stop running??"
The piercing shop has turned into a lingerie store, and I'm stocking lacy bras. There is a potluck planned for after work which I am initially excited about. The fire alarm goes off, and I rush to the break room to help get everyone out safely. Everyone is lying down and being lazy. "Come on guys, we need to go and get out." Nothing. I go over to one girl who is lazing on a bed and I say "Lets go! Move your big fat butt!". The girl's eyes widen and immediately I know I've made a huge mistake.
We're back stocking lingerie and no one is speaking to me. I'm beating myself up. The potluck no longer includes me. Why did I say that? Why am I so stupid? I've forgotten how to talk to real people. I feel anxiety rising in me in my dream. I wake up feeling anxious and guilty.
Lately I've been having a lot of dreams about when I worked at the piercing shop - going back and working again mostly, or going back to visit old coworkers and my boss.
In this one I was getting pierced. In my front tooth. I initially had a big ring on my left front tooth. I could feel all of the enamel chipping off as I got it done, and immediately after thought "oh god... why did I do this?!" I knew this was forever and that I'd ruined my teeth for life. I kept asking the piercer to change it to a smaller barbell so I could eat, but kept getting told I had to leave the hoop in. I was eating hummus and then suddenly remembered this hoop, which I then took out and looked at this ghastly hole in the mirror. "Oh my poor beautiful teeth! I'm so hideous! My teeth were the only thing I had going for myself!". I walk past a full-length mirror to catch a glimpse of my legs, which are huge, lumpy, rolly things now with huge swells of varicosities. "God, I've let myself go. Why did I stop running??"
The piercing shop has turned into a lingerie store, and I'm stocking lacy bras. There is a potluck planned for after work which I am initially excited about. The fire alarm goes off, and I rush to the break room to help get everyone out safely. Everyone is lying down and being lazy. "Come on guys, we need to go and get out." Nothing. I go over to one girl who is lazing on a bed and I say "Lets go! Move your big fat butt!". The girl's eyes widen and immediately I know I've made a huge mistake.
We're back stocking lingerie and no one is speaking to me. I'm beating myself up. The potluck no longer includes me. Why did I say that? Why am I so stupid? I've forgotten how to talk to real people. I feel anxiety rising in me in my dream. I wake up feeling anxious and guilty.
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